Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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