update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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