college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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