I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
