and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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