What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
