it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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