Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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