you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
