Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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