Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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