all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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