He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
