everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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