Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
