tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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