dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
