I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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