we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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