u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The power of my boobs compel you
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
