I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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