if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I would ride that face into the sunset
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
