I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
