a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize