after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
