No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm sobbing to NWA
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize