He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
