I am in a vortex of obligation.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
