Having a random hookup so left but love u
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
