So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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