just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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