Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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