why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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