And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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