Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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