I want to make a zoo with you.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
