hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
