I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
