I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize