he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize