I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
