O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
