Sponge bath it is.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
