Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
