My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
