u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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