After last night, I could never be a politician.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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