Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Someone came in the potted fern
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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