i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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