I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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