did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
