he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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