i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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