i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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