Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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