After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
do herpes really smell.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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