there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize