This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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