Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
bring money and cleavage
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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