My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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