His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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