I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
