i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
